Filial relationship? How important is it?

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I am basically the blacksheep of my family. That doesn’t mean i don’t love them and they don’t love me. But for some reason I keep encountering family relationships and filial love going the opposite directions.

For the past relationships that i had, the guys that I was linked with have family problems. Most of them come from broken families… and it made me think. Is this one reason why I was attracted to them? Is this really a common denominator?

Both of the parents of the first guy I was with have different families now. He lived with his relatives and his immediate family was nowhere during his childhood. That made him protective of himself and his feelings to the point that the girl he’s with gets suffocated in the process. That girl was me.. before. Although I understood that he didn’t want to be hurt again… I guess i didn’t understand how much he desired stability and commitment. I just wasn’t ready enough. Last I heard of him, he got into a fight with his family and left his home. Now I’m not sure if he still feels some kind of filial love for them.

The next guy I was with have problems with his father. The way I understand his story.. His father left his mom when he was young and recently his father showed up and wanted to be friends with him. He refused. He said that why, when he’s already an adult, would his father make his presence known to them when he never did before? Forgive and forget? I don’t think this guy would be capable of doing that to his father. Not in the near future anyway. I don’t really know. Will the love go away among family members if one member leaves the pack? How long would a person need to wait before being forgiven?

The last person I was serious with also have major problems with his father. Unlike the previous guys, this guy have siblings and all of them are not exactly keen towards keeping a filial relationship with their father. If ever he forgives his father, it will still not be enough for the father to be accepted back by the whole family.

One of my present crushes is ok with his family except for the part when his girlfriend comes into the picture. His kuya doesn’t hide the fact that he reduced the status of the girlfriend as merely the girl. One of his younger sisters echoed the sentiments of the oldest brother, that her kuya’s (my crush) girlfriend is a snob. I’m not really acquainted with the girlfriend to know if she is or is not a snob but then again it’s not my place to judge her. In the defense of his girlfriend, he said that he hates his family for judging his girlfriend. How far can filial relationship go? Is there a boundary as to when the love ends and the hate begins?

Makes me wonder if the next guy i’m gonna be with will also have some kind of problem with his family. If the guy I will end up with is gonna be the same as the rest of the other guys.. i don’t think i’d like that. Next time i will be part of his family (whoever he is) and that will mean i should be included in that circle of love.